Tipping Point

I love my tall ‘chai tea lattes’ at our local Starbucks and their oversized, comfy, deep sofa chairs. So every time I head over to my nearby ‘vice-den’, coffee place for my caffeine fix, my soul is deeply anguished over the now customary ‘To tip or not’. They have tip jars, strategically placed, near the cash register, for you to drop your change, after you’ve paid for your beverage. To make matters worse, its always three-fourth filled, making you wonder if you are the only cheapskate around, unwilling to tip. Starbucks were the first ones, in my opinion, to start this ridiculous tipping business, at coffee shops. And thus my moral predicament.

What’s basically the tip for? What exactly is the luxuriant service that I am bestowed with, that a generous handout of my hard earned money is expected to be doled out for some over-priced beverage? I go to the coffee shop, stand in line, pay for my latte, pick up my drink, and walk out. Am I expected to tip, just for someone to do their jobs?

Never can I figure out the rules for tipping these days. At airports, with the drivers for the rental bus, with those towellette boys at fancy restaurants, coffees shops, ice cream parlors (or shoppes as they call em, in some places!) , bartenders, baggage handlers, cabbies, haircuts, restaurants, doormen, tour guides, strip clubs, massage parlors, shoe shine kiosks and also the benign looking Santa at the mall who gets pictured every Christmas, with our two year. Everyone looking for some instant ka-ching, on the side, fast money. Its getting out of control, I tell ya.

It’s like in most of these places the employees have come to expect the tipping, and bad judgment forbidding, if you don’t tip, you then get subjected to the evil eye. That single look of contempt saying ‘You little cheapskate, I spit in your latte’. Ugh. People standing in line behind you size you contemptuously as if to say, “If you really are on welfare, then you shouldn’t be drinking lattes anyway. Order your coffee from McDonalds instead. Maybe you’ll get lucky and spill some on your crotch to win some nefarious lawsuit. Come back to civilization then!!!”. That’s what, they are thinking, I’m sure.

For exceptional services, I agree, that tipping, should be the norm. At restaurants, when the waiter brings you’re the food without dipping their fingers in it, or its really fast service, shell out 20%. Or the cabbie, who drives like a bat outta hell to get you to the airport, just in time, to make that return flight home, deserves your munificence. Even for the strip club dancers, anyone under 350 lbs, with halfway decent contortions, tip away. For those gals over 350 lbs, three quarters, placed strategically, in the crevices of their ample body fat, should suffice.

But tips for people to do their primary jobs function, forget it. The thing is that kids today are expecting to get paid for rendering services that is a part of their job anyway. What is the message that we are really giving out? Mediocrity will be tolerated, no in fact rewarded. Not in my books. Those giving me the evil eye, I just stare back unfazed at them. ‘No tip for you, Thank You’.